Enjoy this video

Unexpected things came up this week and I don't have much time. Please enjoy this video from Sesame Street.

Dino the Dinosaur gets the apple

Next week I'll be presenting at the Utah Association of Education for Young Children's conference. I'll put another video or fun activity to do here on my blog.

The Child Whisperer

10 DAP Teaching Strategies

Going to take a break today from the categories that are all a part of parenting. We often hear that parents are a child's first teacher and they are. When I'm in a classroom being a teacher one of things that is stressed by the director is making sure that developmentally appropriate practices are being used. Developmentally appropriate practices are exactly what they sound like. It's a teacher or a parent keeping the way that they raise children developmentally appropriate. An example of a developmentally appropriate practice is a child wanting to learn how to climb the stairs but allowing them to only do it when a parent is around to supervise them and keeping the stairs blocked with a gate when the supervision can't take place. The National Association of Education for Young Children (NAEYC) developed ten teaching strategies that they say are used in a classroom. These strategies can be modified to be used in a home by a parent.

The first strategy NAEYC mentions is to acknowledge what children do or say. When I'm working in a center I do this by seeing a child ask for something they want and saying, "Thank you for using your words," to them. For example, at one of the centers I worked at we kept teethers in a washed out empty wipes container. When the children wanted one they would point to the cupboard they were kept in and say, "Bite." When I handed one to a child I would say, Thank you for using your words," opposed to the usual pointing and grunting that occurs with children between ages one and two.
To use this strategy at home a parent can acknowledge what children do or say by noticing when a child helps a sibling without being asked and saying, "Thank you for helping (siblings name)."

The second strategy is to encourage persistence and effort. In a classroom if I saw a child trying to do a puzzle but getting frustrated I would encourage persistence by telling the child to try it in another place or turning it so it fit into the correct space. Parents can encourage effort by sitting by them while they do their homework and asking questions and explaining things that help them understand what they're doing.

The third strategy is to give specific feedback. In a classroom I would say, "Try holding the crayon this way," when a child is learning how to color and hold a crayon. A parent can give specific feedback when they say, "You did a good job cleaning your room. Next time can you remember that part of cleaning your room means to put your dirty clothes in the hamper and not leave it in a pile by your bed?"

The fourth strategy is to model behavior. In a classroom I would model behavior by saying please and thank you to the children. Parents can model behavior by making sure the child finishes the question they're asking before answering their child in order to make sure they're answering the question the child is asking, not the question the parent thinks the child is asking.

The fifth strategy is to demonstrate the correct way of doing something. For example, in a classroom I would put something in the sensory table like sand, buckets and shovels and show the children how to put the sand in the bucket using the shovel. At a home a parent can demonstrate the correct way of doing something by first showing a child how to clean the bathroom sink then supervise the child when they try it to guide them through things they may forget.

The sixth strategy is to create or add challenges. For example, once a child learned how to walk and were steady on their feet instead of letting them crawl up the stairs to the slide I would have them walk up the steps of the slide. A parent can create a challenge by having a child do a chore such as clean their room within a certain amount of time and setting the timer so the child knows when to start and when time has ended.

The seventh strategy is to ask questions that get children to think. When I was working in a classroom I asked questions while reading a book such as where is a chair, then the children would point to a chair in the classroom. Parents can ask questions to help children to think by asking questions like, "Do you think it would be nicer to ask your sibling to scoot over so you can sit down or do you think it would be nice to just scoot your sibling over so you can sit down?"

The eight strategy is to give assistance. For example, where I worked with toddlers and they were trying to  learn how to walk we often had push toys in the room or on the playground. When a child would push one into a piece of furniture I would put my hands over their hands and turn the push toy giving the child assistance to go around the push toy but they also felt with their hands and arms how to turn it . Parents can provide assistance to children by holding a cup while they pour the water or loosen a lid on something they're trying to open.

The ninth strategy is to provide information that give children facts. When working in a classroom when a child would point to an object I would say the name of the object such as, "Chair. We sit in a chair." Parents can provide information for children when they say similar things or give direction, "After you eat lunch we're going to go to the grocery store."

The last strategy is to give direction's for actions or behavior. Many times the toddlers I worked with would walk looking behind them instead of in front of them so I had to remind them to look where they were going so they didn't run into another person in the classroom, a wall or furniture. Parent can give direction as they guide their children while playing a game. For example, when it's the child's turn the parent can give direction such as move your piece to the green space or the space with the rocket on it etc.

All of these seem pretty simple and are things parents do on a daily basis unconsciously. If you're interested in reading the article by NAEYC you can find it below.

10 DAP Teaching Strategies

Self-regulation and stress

Self-regulation skills help children (people in general) deal with the stress they have in their lives. Self-regulation helps people control their emotions and how they respond to stressful situations in their lives. There are two types of strategies that can be used to cope with situations that are stressful. They are: emotion focused coping and problem focused coping.

Emotion focused coping is a strategy that involves the management of negative emotions such as fear. For example, when a child starts the first day of school for the school year, a child may feel fear about the first day of school. This fear may come regardless of what grade the child is in. A child can feel fear that their teacher will be mean, that they won't have any friends, that the assignments will be too hard or any other number of things. These fears are real to children and should be worked through, not brushed off. A parent can help the child manage their fears by using emotion focused coping. This is done when a parent listens to the reasons why the child feels the fear they're experiencing and gives help by giving them suggestions of how to work through the fear. This can be done by the parenting saying something such as, "I heard your teacher has a jar of toys the students can choose from when they pass three spelling tests in a row. Do you think that makes the teacher nice or mean?" or "I heard your friend Julie was in the same class as you so you'll have at least one friend in the class you know." A parent has then helped the child cope with the fear they were experiencing and has given reasons why the fear can be lessened. A parent has also acknowledged the emotion the child is feeling and helped the child through those feelings.

Problem solving coping is a strategy that involves goal efforts and includes behavior and attention regulation strategies that resolve stressful situations. For example, when a child is feeling stressed because of the amount of homework they have they may be feeling overwhelmed and need help coming up with a solution to get all of their homework done. A parent can help the child think through the situation by talking it through with the child. A parent can ask questions like, "What assignments need to get done?" "What is due first?" Then offer a suggestion, a solution, to the problem. "Start with your math homework first because that's due first, then do research for your paper, then study for your biology test." The solution of the order to do the homework assignments is a strategy that involves a goal, the effort to achieve the goal and has resolved a stressful situation. Now the next time a child is in this same situation they can do the same thing on their own.

Emotion and problem solving strategies take a lot of time and effort by child and parent to teach. There will be times even after your children are off to college that they need to call their parents and talk through the fear and problems they're having. It's not so much that they want the parent to solve the problem or take the fear away. The child just wants help talking and thinking it through to find a solution. They need someone to bounce ideas off in order to see if their parents may have an idea they haven't thought of.

Ways parents can develop self-regulation

Parents can develop self-regulation by how warm they respond to their children, particularly when they are in distress. A parents warmth is connected to the emergence of a child's sense of self. Often a child is in distress because they are trying to communicate with words what they want but don't have the vocabulary yet to tell parents what they want. They can also be in distress when they don't get something they want. For example, if a child is trying to tell a parent what they want to do and are pointing to the toy box, the parent needs help in understanding what in the toy box the child wants. If a parent responds with warmth and uses a calm voice while pulling out toys and asking if the toy is the one the child wants, the parent teaches self- regulation because the parent has used self-regulation to not get mad or discouraged with the child.

Parents can develop self-regulation through social structure. For example, if a child is having a play date with a friend and the friend is playing with a toy that the child wants to play with, a parent teaches self-regulation by teaching the child to wait until their friend is done playing with it before having a turn and the parent has taught the child that taking turns is part of the social structure expected of people.

A parent can develop self-regulation by teaching manners and social etiquette. For example, when a parent is on the phone and a child interrupts them, a parent is teaching self-regulation by having the child wait until the parent is off the phone before talking to them and the parent responding to what the child needs. A parent also develops self-regulation by teaching their children to say phrases such as please and thank you.

One last way that a parent can teach self-regulation is through modeling appropriate behavior in different social situations. For example, when a parent goes to the grocery store and there aren't enough lines open which makes the check out lines long, instead of a parent getting upset, frustrated and saying rude things a parent can show children how to wait patiently by waiting patiently themselves and being kind to the checkout clerk instead of rude. By developing and demonstrating self-regulation to our children it shows our children how to behave appropriately to different situations. It also shows children how to control our emotions and how to respond appropriately to our emotions.

Process of self-regulation

The process of self-regulation is divided into two categories: social emotional and cognitive self-regulation. Social emotional self-regulation enables children to follow social interactions in diverse settings. It helps children interact and get along with others by following social standards of conduct. For example, when children are playing on the playground it's social emotional self-regulation that is being taught and executed as children take turns going down the slide. The ability of a child to wait their turn is a child executing social emotional self-regulation.

Cognitive self-regulation enables children to use the thinking process that is needed to solve problems and make decisions. For example, if a child is at preschool and they see that all of the bikes are being used it is cognitive self-regulation that a child uses to see that (problem)-all of the bikes are being used and to solve the problem by going and playing in the sandbox (decision made) until one becomes available instead of throwing a tantrum, crying and being upset because they can't currently ride a bike.

Self-regulation is influenced by the component of volition. Volition is the freedom to make choices on how to think and act that is inside a person. For example it helps a child make the choice to go play in the sandbox while waiting for a bike instead of getting upset because they couldn't ride a bike immediately. It helps a child be able to wait patiently to go down a slide until it's their turn. These two types of self-regulation are a process as children learn social rules and how to think for themselves in order to solve problems. To teach these two types of self-regulation take a lot of patience and understanding as children are still learning the rules of society and how to deal with their emotions and think through how to solve problems.

3 tasks to developing self-regulation

There are three tasks to developing self-regulation children (people in general) need to develop in order to achieve self-control. These three tasks are: brain development, effortful control and emotional regulation. The brain is making billions of connections during the infant and preschool years. The connections the brain is making depend on a child's experiences, interactions with others and emotions. Play helps a child's brain develop as they have to learn how to do different activities such as crawl, walk, wait their turn or how to hold a crayon. Interacting with peers helps children learn how to communicate, share and the rules of socialization. A child's brain has to connect the dots to know how to control their emotions. A child has to  learn how to calm themselves after feeling sad or disappointed. A child has to learn how to control their anger and not lash out at people. As the brain makes the connection that even though they may feel sad and disappointed because they couldn't get ice cream everything is still okay and nothing in life or the relationship with their parents has changed. A child needs to learn that hitting isn't an appropriate behavior to being angry and make the connection that when I'm angry I need to tell the person why and talk it out with the person and find constructive ways to vent anger. As children's brains make these connections a child's brain capacity, attention, learning, memory and reasoning develop.

Effortful control is the ability to hold back a response in order to execute a different response. It's the ability to regulate impulses and respond to a developing conscience. For example, when a child wants to take a toy from another child because they want to play with it- instead of taking the toy from a child, the child sees there is another one on the shelf and reaches and plays with that one instead of the one the other child has- this is a child using effortful control to choose a different response. It begins to develop in the preschool years as children see older children and adults regulate their emotions and behavior and begin to imitate them. It leads to self-regulation as children learn to do a puzzle and don't get frustrated when a piece doesn't fit etc.

Emotional regulation is the development of cognitive and social emotional processes. It involves a child's ability to think and consider the impulses they feel that are being driven by emotional responses to the enviornment and being able to participate in emotional, acceptable behaviors. To help develop emotional regulation children first need to participate in behaviors guided by adults. For example, when a child meets a grandparent for the first time can be a scary situation for them. If the parents help the child regulate their emotion of fear by allowing the child to warm up to the grandparents at their own pace this guides the child through their emotions and the situation.

Developing these three tasks is a difficult process that takes a lot of time and patience as it requires a parent to teach a child many different things. It is a process as it will take years to develop these tasks in children, particularly to the point of them being able to achieve some level of self-control. Be patient with your children! Remember, they're still learning and developing these tasks and they need your help and patience as the parent to achieve them. Remember too that it's your responisbility to teach these things to your children. These are not built in to a child's conscience or behavior.

Self-regulation

Self-regulation is the ability to control ones behavior and to adapt to a situation. It's the ability to follow expectations for behavior and is a critical feature of development within the first five years of life. Compliance with a parents request is one of the earliest forms of self-regulation. It requires a child to stop and modify their behavior in order to meet the parents request or instruction. An example of a child modifying their behavior is when a parent says, "Can you come help me put your clothes away?" The child has to stop whatever they're doing to help the parent and therefore modifies their behavior to go help the parent.

Self-regulation helps children solve problems and get along with others. It helps children solve problems because they can deal with the disappointment of not getting their way all the time. It helps children get along with others because it helps a child understand that everyone has input of what is played and be able to take turns. Children who have strong self-regulation skills are able to adapt to changes in their environment. This helps as a family moves to a new house or the child moves from elementary to middle school.