Accomplishments viewed in relation to child's unique self

Each child's efforts, abilities and accomplishments should be viewed in relation to each child's unique development and personality. Parents need to remember one of their children may be good at ballet, one good at football and another good at organizing. It's important to remember that each child's talents are different  and to help instill in each child a belief that a child can learn and succeed regardless of the child's status, personality, learning struggles or behavior. A parent first needs to believe this of each of their children in order to instill it in their children. Children feel whether their parents believe in them by the way they treat and talk to them. A way to increase the belief that every child can succeed is for parents to avoid using words that label a child. Children shouldn't be labeled shy, trouble maker etc. because labels can become expected behavior for children by the adults and the children themselves by the adult's in their lives labeling them.

A central message to ideas we have is that children respond to their external environment. If the environment is negative children can develop a negative view of themselves and their future. For example, my daughter went to elementary school with a boy that was labeled as a trouble maker and someone who wasn't very capable. He started to become a trouble maker and not put effort into his school work until the fourth grade, when the teacher this boy and my daughter had, taught the boy these other teachers were wrong.  She treated this boy like he was smart and capable and he improved in behavior and academically. Children will become what is expected of them. If children have a negative environment, they will see themselves and their future in negative ways. If a child is given a positive environment, they will see themselves and their future in positive ways.

Providing a trusting environment is an important aspect of self-esteem in order for a child to develop in positive ways. Key people in a child's life-meaning parents, siblings, caregivers etc. need to meet the needs of a child so the child can trust these key people in their lives. If that trust isn't built, it can have devastating effects on the child because they've already started to learn they're not worthy of being taken care of. These children learn to mistrust people and the world. It causes them to have a low self-esteem and effects what they accomplish. So please parents, provide your children with a positive environment and instill in each of them a belief in themselves that they can learn and succeed in the goals they have.