Cyclic Patterns

Cyclic patterns become so en-grained into humans they appear to be automatic. Children can't break negative cycles by themselves. When children enter new social groups they assume roles and behaviors they had in other social groups. For example, if a child was a peacemaker in a former group, they'll be the peacemaker in a new group.

Children who feel good about themselves, assess their abilities and are more outgoing, assertive and consider themselves to be competent and likable. They expect to do well and believe they control  their own fate socially and with difficult tasks. Children who have positive  self-esteem, high self-efficacy and high social competence have proved these are directly related to each other. When parents and others acknowledge  and respect their children's feelings, a close relationship develops between them. This is because their relationship is based on a mutual respect and trust.

One of the challenges for parents and others of young children is that they don't come to accept a child's negative cycles and reputations fully becoming protective and not letting children resolve conflicts by themselves. The purpose of teaching social competence is for children to practice social competence. Parents should be aware of providing less assistance and support when children are developing skills and dispositions.

Dan Gartrell who is the director of the child development training program at Bemidji State University in Minnesota, calls negative behavior, mistaken behaviors and advises parents to view these opportunities to help children learn about appropriate behavior. A parent helps a child learn appropriate behavior by teaching them appropriate behavior and modeling it. Most of parenting is about teaching a child. Children come into the world not knowing how to do anything except the survival skills. They then have to learn everything else from how to roll over, to how to behave appropriately, to the importance of being kind and how to be kind. It's the responsibility of the parent to teach their children all of it. If a parent doesn't like the way the child is treating them as the parent, a sibling, friend etc., check what you're modeling. Are you teaching through word and deed what you expect the child to do? Do you need to change something you're doing so the child's behavior will change? Cyclic patterns can begin with what a parent does, says and therefore models.