What Erikson Thought Was The Main Challenge For Toddlers

Erik Erikson has the opinion that the main challenge for children between eighteen months and three years is to gain autonomy and independence. This includes using words such as 'No' and 'Mine.' Erikson views this struggle for toddlers as a conflict between their individual need to be competent and social and their need to accept limits and learn behavioral rules. When toddlers are placed in a supportive, safe environment, Erikson believes this would increase the chances of fostering a healthy self-concept. He says this requires a parent's patience and a sense of humor. It requires patience and a sense of humor because toddlers are difficult to deal with. A toddler may be hungry and decide to get food on their own. When this happens it takes patience as the parent allows them to choose what they want and teaches them how to make what they want (for example toast). It requires humor because your two year old may have made a mess of the kitchen while trying to get them something to eat. The parent may walk into the kitchen to find it a mess and their child a mess from trying to get something to eat. The situation requires humor as the parent laughs at the mess in the kitchen and the mess their child is rather than getting mad at them.

When a parent uses a negative approach to a toddlers challenge to gain autonomy and independence it affects a child's behavior. When harsh punishment, ignoring disputes between children, humiliating them, becoming involved in power struggles with them or constantly correcting a toddler without giving them an alternative occurs, this affects a child's behavior in negative ways. This affects behavior in negative ways because when a child is disciplined using harsh punishment this affects their self-esteem and their self-worth. For example, if a parent gets mad at a child because of the mess they made in the kitchen and of themselves while getting them something to eat, this makes a child feel bad. They're trying to be grown up and get  food like mom and dad and when a parent gets mad at them for this it can destroy their self-esteem as they feel they did something wrong and destroy their self-worth as they feel they did something bad or wrong.

When a child is humiliated it shames a child and they may stop trying new things or trying all together. When a parent becomes involved in a power struggle with a child it's about the parent, what the parent wants and why and them controlling not only the child but the situation and its outcome. The parents own lack of security is showing and parenting becomes about the parent not the child. When a parent corrects a child without giving them an alternative the child begins to see themselves as bad and everything they do and are as bad. For example, if a child cleans the bathroom but leaves dirt on the sink and tub and the parent gets mad at them for it. If a parent corrects them by saying, "Look at all the dirt you left, clean it again and do it right this time, " a child may see themselves as a bad child  or that they did something that was bad. The child didn't do anything bad and isn't a bad person. A parent needs to teach them what it means to clean the bathroom and how to clean it. Children need to be taught everything!