Six Forms of Punishment Part 3

The last two of the six forms of punishment are verbal reprimands and time out. Verbal reprimands are more effective when they're immediate, brief and and accompanied by eye contact.  For example,  if a child hits a parent it's best for the parent to look the child in the eye, say, "No hitting mom, ouch!" and do it it immediately after the child hits them. Verbal reprimands are more effective when spoken quietly and close to the child not bringing attention to the child which can cause shame and guilt. For example, if a child and parent are in a store and a child says a curse word, it's best if the parent whispers in the child's ear, "We don't say that word. It's ugly," than if the parent brings attention to it by saying something out loud and reprimanding them publicly.

Verbal reprimands should provide encouraging statements indicating the parent knows the child can participate in appropriate behavior. For example, if a child is getting impatient  standing in line waiting to check out at a store a parent can say, "I know it's taking a long time to check out. We have two people in front of us and then it's our turn. I know you can wait until it's our turn." Then the parent can do something to distract them such as quietly sing a song or play a game such as finding letters on the cover of a magazine. It's also helpful for parents to carry toys with them that the child can play with when a situation like this occurs.

Time out is considered a punishment because the child is removed from a pleasurable and enjoyable activity due to their inappropriate behavior. Time out is different from time away in that time out is a general punishment for any kind of behavior problem, whereas as time away is removal of the child when the child's behavior results in the disruption of an activity. For example,  time out occurs when a child keeps interrupting parents while they're trying to talk. Time away happens when a child keeps grabbing all of the crayons and doesn't share with their siblings. With time away, the focus is on the child understanding the relationship between their behavior and the effect the disruption had on the activity. The focus is on putting the child in an environment that encourages and motivates a child to behave appropriately. In time out the child is removed to another room, corner etc. and screened off. A time out environment shouldn't be reinforcing such as a corridor, dark closet etc. Time out is short (minute per age). The key to time out is that when a child comes out of the environment is dependent on the child demonstrating appropriate behavior. Time out has been shown to be effective in reducing a variety of disruptive and inappropriate behavior. Time out doesn't give undue attention(reward) to the child.