Self-Efficacy and Children Who Struggle Socially

For children who struggle socially, parents and other adults can remind children of common interests and experiences that will help children learn how to relate to others. For example, when my child was eight we moved from one state to another and she was really scared because she thought no one would like her. To help with her fears I told her everyone would feel the same way she did and a new way to find new friends would be to talk about common interests and experiences. I told her to ask the other students questions like, " What is your favorite subject?" or "Do you like to draw?" These questions are common ground questions that break the ice and gave her and the other student's common things to talk about that lead into personal questions that helped her find friendships in her new school. It developed her self-efficacy as she learned that asking common ground questions like these helped break the ice and helped her not feel as scared as she felt and she realized it was a scary thing she could do that helped her find friends. It helped her find a way to find friends that worked and then when she entered Jr High and that school was a mixture of three Elementary schools it gave her the self-efficacy to use the same approach to continue to find new friends in each class and she knew she could do it because she had done it before and it worked so she knew it would work again. She came home telling me stories of how different students in her class like the same things she did and asking eventually if she could have that friend over. It developed her self-efficacy in a social setting that helped her become more confident in her social skills and helped develop them as well.