The Parenting Style I Used

When raising a child there are three parenting styles that can be used. Diana Baumrind who was a researcher who focused on the classification of parenting styles outlined three parenting styles based on her classification scheme. They are: the authoritarian  parent, the authoritative parent and permissive parent. The authoritarian parent has high expectations, they don't believe a child should question authority and punishments are strict.  The authoritative parent has high expectations but the expectations are age appropriate, they give their children choices and independence along with being clear about what their expectations are for their children. A permissive parent lets their children do anything and don't give a consequence for inappropriate behavior and make excuses for their children's behavior. There is little consistency with permissive parents and they rarely supervise their children's activities.

Eleanor Maccoby who has a Ph.D in experimental psychology and J.A. Martin added a fourth type of parenting style which is the uninvolved parent or the neglectful parent. This type of parent provides no control over their children's lives, they don't have rules, don't expect their children to behavior in any kind of way and don't teach the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. These children are emotionally disconnected from their children and they worry about their own problems more than their children or their children's problems.

When i raised my child the parenting style I used was the authoritative parent style. I gave my child choices but made consequences clear and followed through with the consequences. The choices and consequences were age appropriate, however I also allowed discussion of expectations and consequences. I value independence and taught by child to be independent. I listened to my child's point of view and I felt this was the parenting style that would help me help my child develop who she is, develop healthy self-worth,  and know she is loved and accepted for who she is.

Despite that I used the authoritative parenting style most often to raise my child when the situation needed me to use a different parenting style I used a different one. Some situations need a parent to be authoritative, some situations need a parent to be authoritative and other situations need a parent to be permissive. I tried not to get caught up on trying to be one type of parent that I failed to see when a different parenting style was needed.

The children in a family are very different and a family may have a child that needs an authoritarian parent, another child may need an authoritative parent. A child's personality and temperament help determine the kind of parenting style that is used.  The most important thing to remember when choosing what parenting style to use and what situation needs what kind of style is to remember that it is your responsibility as a parent to help guide your children to achieve their own goals. It is your responsibility to help your children become the kind of person they want to be, not tell them what kind of person to be. Consider these types of parenting styles and choose the one that best identifies with your and your spouses philosophy on raising children.