Self-Regulation and Volition

Self- regulation is influenced by a large component inside a person called volition. Volition of course is the freedom to make choices, on how what to think and how to act. This aspect of personality  drives a person to follow through and finish an activity which is why if parents leave a child alone they will in fact do what was asked instead of needing the parents to nag them about it. For example, if a child doesn't take the trash out right away when a parent asks them, the child will eventually get up and do it. If the child doesn't remember to take the trash out they feel bad about forgetting and then the consequence comes in because where they didn't do what was asked a consequence can be given.

However, most of the time if a parent will leave a child alone they will eventually make the choice to do what the parent asked. Just because they're not making it right then doesn't mean they'll not make it, they will eventually make it. Give children time to make the choice, give them the opportunity to learn. If they don't eventually make the choice to do what was asked, a parent may need to consider a consequence or the possibility that they are wrong. Volition helps explain persistence and why children ultimately make their own choices on how to act even though parents, teachers and friends can give a nudge in the right direction by modeling behavior that is appropriate for the social situation.

I helped develop volition in my daughter by giving her choices and respecting her choices. When she was little I picked out a pair of pants and let her pick out the shirt she wanted to wear. If she was reading or doing homework and I asked her to do something such as take out the trash, I let her finish the page she was reading or get to a place in her homework where she could stop and then take the trash out. It wasn't about her doing it right then and doing it immediately. I didn't care when she did it, I just cared that she did do it and then if she didn't a consequence was given. When she got older and was old enough to drive she would ask if she could take it when she left to go do something with friends or go to her volunteer assignment. I always told her that was fine and I was fine with her doing it then as long as she did do it then. It was when she didn't that a consequence was given. This taught her that her volition was important and something that would be respected and she respected mine in return. By doing this it also developed responsibility in my daughter as she became responsible to do what I asked her to do and for her to follow through on that request even if it wasn't done immediately.