new admin

At the first center I worked at the director got pregnant. When she was supposed to return six weeks later a new director was announced instead. I liked this new director as a person and she saw a lot of things that were wrong with the center that were finally addressed. However, she didn't start off by gaining the respect of her employees. Circumstances unrelated to the director also made it so that the center was losing the assistant director around the same time as the director. The staff knew the assistant director was leaving and had been prepared for it. The new director found herself now needing a new assistant director.

My question is- how does one go from cook to assistant director? The staff knew that the cook and the new director had been friends for years and the word around the center was that the director made the cook the assistant director because she felt sorry for her. I don't know if that's true or not, I just know it was a personal decision not a professional one if it is true. I also know that to allow things that have happened to you in your personal life affect these kind of professional decisions is unprofessional. I could also be wrong but this may not be the best way to gain the respect of your staff either.

I have worked for administration that shows favoritism towards staff and who don't have the respect of their staff. I could be wrong but if you're going to work on the administration side of a company don't you want the respect of your staff?The new director wanted me to stay when I put in my two weeks notice a short time after that but I knew I couldn't work for someone that made professional decisions based on personal feelings not professional qualifications etc. I was also tired of working for someone I didn't respect. I like many others I'm sure have worked for and with people that I liked as a person but didn't respect on a professional level.

To start off as a new director by making a decision such as who would be the assistant director based on a personal friendship didn't leave me feeling like this director was going to be someone I wanted to work under. Despite the fact that I work with children all day professionalism should still be tried to obtain. Let me sit in the directors office, cry, and tell a sob story so that I can get an administrative position doesn't exactly gain a person's confidence that you'll do a good job and be fair and treat your staff fairly. This is something that a lot of directors don't understand and why they aren't respected.

Teething

I've always worked with toddlers and during this age of 1-2 they are still getting their teeth. We have always kept teethers in the fridge in the kitchen or in the room so that as they teeth they have something to chew on. At the second center that I worked at we had a container of teethers we kept in a cabinet. When a child was teething I pulled one out and gave it to the child to chew on and sanitized it at the end of the day. When a child wanted a teether I taught them to come over to me and say, "Bite." I used the word bite because that's what they would do with the teether, they would bite it.

At the second center I worked at I had a little girl who when she was teething she teethed quicker than any child I have ever taken care of. When she was teething she would point to the cabinet I kept them in and say, "bite." I would give her one and she would bite it to relieve the pain of the tooth coming in. As she would sit and bite it she would moan and groan. It made me feel so bad because giving her the teether to bite on was all I was allowed to do. If the parents brought in orajel and filled out a form to give it to her I could do that but the parents chose not to do that so all I could do was give her the teether. This little girl would chew on it every day all week long until the tooth came in. As a result every day she would ask for the teether and moan and groan as it came in. I eventually gave her the same teether everyday and one day at the end of the day I noticed it had a hole in it. Instead of sanitizing it I threw it out.

I have never seen someone teeth as fast as this little girl. It was crazy. She was irritable the whole time the tooth was coming in. Once it came in though she would be happy until the next one started to come in and we'd go through the whole process again.

Adjusting

The hardest child I ever had adjusting to being in child care was a little boy I had at the first center I worked at. Normally it takes about two weeks for a child to adjust to being in child care and after that they usually only cry when they're hurt, sad, etc. They also after the first two weeks have come to trust you and understand that the parents are coming back to pick them up at the end of the day. Not this little boy. It took me a month to gain this little boys trust and to help him adjust to being in the classroom. It has never taken me that long before or since.

Sometimes he would start to cry before he even got to the room. I could hear him crying as he walked down the hallway to the room. Most of the time there will be periods when a child will stop crying- to eat, sleep, or sometimes to even play while they sit on your lap or at least close by. Not this little boy. He cried all day, every day, non-stop!! I tried everything I could think of and then some. This boy was the hardest child I have ever had! I sang songs, I turned music on-soft then upbeat, had the parents bring in a special toy of the child's, I asked them what he liked to do at home, I mean you name it and I tried it. After a month of trying everything I could think of and none of it working I was about to suggest to the parents that they try a nanny. A formal child care setting like that isn't for everyone and it doesn't work for every family. So ...after working with the family for a month, talking to the director, we had decided to suggest to the family that they start to look at other options.

Then one day....he stopped! He just stopped! I don't even know why!?! During nap I had opened the door in the classroom that led directly out to the playground and sat there with him like I did every day to make it quieter while the others slept so that his crying didn't keep the rest of the children awake. I took his pacifier and put it on my lap because he was crying regardless of whether it was in his mouth or not. I didn't say anything to him I just took it and put it on my lap. He continued to cry and I picked up a bucket and shovel and started to fill it with sand. A few minutes later he stopped crying. I peeked out of the corner of my eye to make sure he was ok and saw that he was sitting there watching me and being quiet. I continued to fill the bucket and made a sand castle. I did this 3-4 times then I took him inside and closed the door.

I took him to his mat and sat him on it then sat beside him. He continued to be quiet so I decided to push my luck. This little boy went all day long without eating because he cried all day long. It broke my heart but I couldn't force him to eat. So I went to the kitchen and got some leftovers from lunch. I took it back to the classroom and sat him at the table and sat next to him. I pointed to everything on the plate and told him what it was, said, "here's a spoon," then looked away. A few minutes later he picked the spoon up and started to eat. I looked at him and smiled then said, "Is it good? I thought you might be hungry." He looked at me like a deer in headlights and started crying. I said, "Ok I won't look at you," and looked away and continued to watch him from the corner of my eye. I then looked at my co-teacher and pointed. She smiled and nodded then said, "Don't do it." (I had tears in my eyes). After he ate (everything on his plate) I took him back over to his mat and laid him down on it and rubbed his back. Pretty soon he was fast asleep.

I went over to where my co-teacher was sitting and sat down next year. I said, "Co-teacher, did you see that? He finally ate and look he's asleep." She nodded and I burst into tears-I mean I literally burst into tears! After a month of this little boy doing nothing but cry- he wouldn't sleep, he wouldn't eat, he wouldn't do anything but cry- he finally ate and slept!! My co-teacher finally said, "I told you we would love it out of him." That was like the understatement of the year!!

When he woke up he ate snack with everyone, and he played all afternoon. He stayed close by and I watched him out of the corner of my eye, but he played all afternoon. That afternoon when his parents came to pick him up instead of telling his parents they may want to consider other options I told them about him eating, sleeping and his afternoon. They too burst into tears. After that he never cried again unless he got hurt. He eventually started to test the limits some. He would go farther and farther away from me to play instead of staying close. One day while on the playground he went to the other side of the playground then stood there until I saw him. I waved and smiled then said, "I see you. Are you having fun?" He smiled then turned and ran off. I looked at my co-teacher smiled then wiped the tears that again started to flow.

Once this little boy stopped crying all day he was so sweet!! He also was so funny! His personality started coming out little by little. It started with quiet moments when I would be putting him down for nap or he'd come up and show me something and say something quietly to me, then go play again. Every so often he would come over hug me then go play. I have never had a child take that long to adjust before or since. When he moved up to the next room I cried harder than I have with any other child who ever moved up. The bond I had with this little boy was different from any bond I've ever had with any other child. This little boy changed my life-frustrations and all.