Happy New Year

Happy New Year! I hope 2019 is full of happiness and great memories are made for all of you. Enjoy!

New year's day

Merrry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope everyone enjoys time with family.

Handel's Messiah

Self-Efficacy and Developing Self-Worth

Another important quality of self-efficacy is how children see their self-worth. Children need to see themselves as capable, intelligent human beings. Parents can help a child learn what those things are, what they're good at. Models of success are powerful, especially models who are similar in age. For children, other children are powerful models. If my friend can achieve a good grade on their writing test than so can I.

What we say matters because if a parent tells a child they can't do something the child is going to believe it. If a parent tells a child they can do something they'll believe it. What we says matters! We need to encourage children and we need to encourage them to learn what they are capable of doing and being secure with the things they aren't so good at. When we use words that convey a belief in oneself children are more likely to succeed and this has a positive impact on how they see themselves and what they accomplish.

Self-Efficacy and the Community

Teachers, coaches, youth group leaders who have high self-efficacy are more willing to experiment with new ideas and teaching strategies. They have high expectations and set high goals for children and exert more into caring and involvement with children. Therefore, self-efficacy affects choices, goals, effort and persistence.

Parents, siblings, teachers, coaches and other people in a child's community can help elevate self-efficacy in many ways.  They can set up easy to attain situations so that children can learn how to complete a task by first completing smaller sections of tasks and breaking the project down to something that is more manageable. Adults can model appropriate behavior that helps motivate children to participate in activities and succeed in them. The more encouragement a child receives at home and school the more self-efficacy they'll have. The more self-efficacy a child has the more likely they'll grow up to be successful happy adults.

When my child was growing up she had youth leaders who helped her set goals. They helped her write them down and then they framed it so she could put it in her room and see the goals she set for herself. It reflected her choices, her goals and what she would do to accomplish them. Some of them were still in college themselves and helped set the goal of college for herself and the importance of education. They supported her in her choices and goals and helped her achieve them in ways that only they could because she felt how much they cared and saw they were willing to help her achieve her goals.

The building of self-efficacy needs the help, encouragement, love and support of many.

Self-Efficacy and Developmental Delays

We know that children learn differently and children with developmental delays struggle far more with learning than others do. Those children who struggle need a feeling of success that they can achieve an activity. When a child's progress is viewed based on their own learning, not somebody's else's, this helps develop self-efficacy. Children shouldn't be expected to be good at everything. It's important for children to learn and to be challenged and they should be allowed to be successful in some areas and struggle with others. A child who excels at learning how to read but struggles in sports should be given more leeway in gym class. A child who  likes art but has problems focusing should be acknowledged for the art they are developing while being supported to find ways to focus on a task. A child needs to learn that they are good at everything. When a child learns this they don't put pressure on themselves to be good at everything. Parents need to tell children it's acceptable not to be good at everything and help children find things they are good at.

At the first center I worked at I had a child who had spina bifida. She couldn't walk, or crawl (she did learn to do a sort of army crawl but never a real crawl). I had to carry her everywhere or put her in a wagon to get her outside. She had a wheel chair she had to learn to use to get around and I had to find ways to help her feel included and capable of doing the same activities as the other children. She couldn't stand so she couldn't stand at the sensory table and do activities at the sensory table so I had to put the same activity in a smaller container, sit her on the floor with the container in her reach and let her do the activity that way. This helped her feel included, the activity didn't need to change for her it just needed to be modified. By doing this I based her learning on her own learning style and helped her develop self-efficacy in the way it needed to be developed for her.

By modifying the activities for her I didn't expect her to be good at everything but I acknowledged the challenges she had and found ways for her to be successful while struggling in the areas she did struggle in. I allowed the leeway she needed but supported her to find a way to do the same tasks as her friends. Dealing with Special Ed children takes a very special kind of person because of the challenges those children have. Where I have over the years had children in my classroom to take care of who have had challenges I'm not the kind of person who could deal with the challenges these children face on a daily basis and am thankful for the people who can.

Happy Thanksgiving

Out of town for the holiday. Will be back next week. Some music to listen to during the weekend or anytime during this holiday season. Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bd0Uvvvi_M

Self-Efficacy and Children Who Struggle Socially

For children who struggle socially, parents and other adults can remind children of common interests and experiences that will help children learn how to relate to others. For example, when my child was eight we moved from one state to another and she was really scared because she thought no one would like her. To help with her fears I told her everyone would feel the same way she did and a new way to find new friends would be to talk about common interests and experiences. I told her to ask the other students questions like, " What is your favorite subject?" or "Do you like to draw?" These questions are common ground questions that break the ice and gave her and the other student's common things to talk about that lead into personal questions that helped her find friendships in her new school. It developed her self-efficacy as she learned that asking common ground questions like these helped break the ice and helped her not feel as scared as she felt and she realized it was a scary thing she could do that helped her find friends. It helped her find a way to find friends that worked and then when she entered Jr High and that school was a mixture of three Elementary schools it gave her the self-efficacy to use the same approach to continue to find new friends in each class and she knew she could do it because she had done it before and it worked so she knew it would work again. She came home telling me stories of how different students in her class like the same things she did and asking eventually if she could have that friend over. It developed her self-efficacy in a social setting that helped her become more confident in her social skills and helped develop them as well.

Two Parts of the Effects of Self-Efficacy on Behavior and Learning

The effects self-efficacy has on behavior and learning can be broken down into two parts. The first part is self-efficacy for learning. Self-efficacy for learning is the idea that if a person puts their mind and energy into something they can learn it.

I developed this type of self-efficacy in my child by encouraging her to try different and new things and supporting her in her efforts. For example, when she was in high school she continued with her art classes but I also encouraged her to take American sign language as her foreign language. She did take ASL andshe decided to be active in that club at school. Some of the activities the club did was going to the school for the deaf and practicing their sign language with the students there. This developed her self -efficacy in not only learning sign language but being able to actually use it in a real setting. By putting effort into learning sign language and putting her mind into learning it she knows enough to be able to communicate on some level with deaf people and understand what they say in return.

The second part self-efficacy has on behavior and learning is self-efficacy for performance and achievement. Self-efficacy for performance and achievement is that a person already knows how to do an activity and therefore the child should be optimistic about learning how to do the activity. For example, my daughter had a natural ability to dance so when she was pre-school age I put her in dance lessons. However, just because she had the natural talent didn't make it something she was interested in. She liked dancing and had fun doing it but once it became something to learn, for her it took the fun out of it.

This is why it's important children be realistic about being able to accomplish a task and choose activities that are developmentally appropriate and that they choose them. If a parent decides a child take dance lessons because of their natural talent but it's not something the child enjoys and self -efficacy won't be developed. It will become a chore and the child may act out and behavior become challenging because the child isn't choosing the activities that will build their self-efficacy.

Four Ways Sel-efficacy Affects Behavior and Learning

There are ways self-efficacy affects behavior and learning. The first one is choice of activities. Children will choose tasks and activities they believe they can do  and avoid those they believe they won't be good at. I developed my child's self-efficacy through choice of activity by allowing her to decide what she wanted to do. For example in the 5th grade she had to choose between choir and band. I let her decide which one she participated in. The same in high school. I let her choose what clubs to be a part of.

The second way self-efficacy affects behavior and learning is through goals. When children have high self-efficacy in a certain area they will set high goals. For example, my daughter knew she was good at art so she set high goals for her art and achieved them. Most specifically she met the goal of taking AP art and when she got back the art she submitted for the class she ended up getting more credit than she thought she would which raised her self-efficacy.

The third way self-efficacy affects behavior and learning is effort and persistence. When children work on a task they have self-efficacy in they apply more effort and are more likely to persist when they encounter obstacles. For example, when my child was young she took piano lessons. She never really liked taking piano lessons and wouldn't practice or put effort into it. When I took her out of piano lessons and had her focus on art she put the effort into learning techniques of art and was persistent in finding ways to improve her art abilities and types of art she likes and is best at.

The last way self-efficacy affects behavior and learning is in achievement. When children have a realistic sense of their abilities they develop self-efficacy in the area they know they are good at. Even if they try something they aren't very good at it develops their self-efficacy and self-esteem as they realize they've learned something about themselves.

By allowing my child to pick activities she knew she was good at, helping her set and achieve obtainable goals, supporting her in her efforts and achievements I helped my child build a healthy self-efficacy in an environment she felt safe to build it in. I'm confident you can too.

Self-efficacy and Children''s Feelings

Parents help develop self-efficacy when they acknowledge and respect their child's feelings. When a parent does this a close relationship can be formed between them. The child learns to trust the parent while the parent provides encouragement and support. It's important for a parent to empathize with the child and recognize the child's feelings are real and help them work through them.

When a child fails or is scared to do an activity a parent can say something like, "I know this is scary but this is how we're going to work through it and I'll be here every step of the way." For example, the first time a child goes down the slide by themselves can be scary. The parent walks by the side of it staying by the child until they sit down, then the parent stands at the bottom and catches them. The parent has acknowledged the child's feelings, helped them work through them and stayed with them every step of the way. They provided encouragement and support and helped the child achieve a task they saw as difficult.

One of the ways I helped my child work through a difficult feeling that helped her self-efficacy is watch her walk next door. Our neighbors had a child the same age as my child and they played a lot together. Only she wouldn't walk over there by herself. I helped her work through her feelings of being scared and developed her self-efficacy by standing on the deck and watching her walk over and not going back inside until she was in their house. Then I just stood at the deck door to watch her until she was in their house. Then one day she told me she didn't need me to watch, that she would be okay. Her self-efficacy in that area had developed enough that she no longer needed me to help. These seem like small, insignificant things, but they are big to a chid, they are important to a child and they are important steps in buildingtheir self-efficacy.

Factors of Self-Efficacy Developed by Adults

There are factors that can contribute to the development of self-efficacy by adults. These factors include successes and failures, messages from other people, successes of other people and successes and failures of groups to which a child belongs.

Once a child develops a high level of self-efficacy, an occasional failure won't deter them. This means if a child is trying to ride a bike and the first few attempts they can't do it, this won't necessarily discourage them to the point where they'll give up, but in fact the child learned they have the ability to withstand frustrations and have developed a disposition to persist even when everything isn't going as they expected. For example, my child never liked getting anything less than an A. Her grade always had to be an A. My expectation for her wasn't straight A's, I was all right with her getting a B but she wasn't. So when she got a B she didn't see this as a failure per say but she did put the effort into bringing it back up to an A by the end of the next quarter. This way she didn't give up on her expectation to have straight A's but she could deal with the frustration she had that a grade was a B and not an A and bring the grade up.

Messages from others develops self efficacy because the messages we send children will either develop or destroy self-esteem. For example if I as parent told my child she could never achieve the goal of straight A's the message I would be sending her is that she's not capable of getting straight A's which would hinder her belief that she could and it's not a goal she would meet because she wouldn't have had the self-efficacy to try because I would have destroyed it through my message she couldn't.

A child's successes and failures can build or destroy a child's self-esteem through the groups a child belongs. For example, when my child was a teenager she had a leader who constantly told her who to be and that she needed to be like another teen in the group to be accepted. This decreased my child's self-efficacy because she started to think she had to be like someone else in order to be accepted, loved and capable of achieving things. Once I explained how the message this leader was sending was wrong and continued to help support in developing a healthy self-efficacy did she learn that the message the leader was sending was wrong and that she was still capable of many things they were just different from the teen in the group her leader was telling her to be like.

Factors of Self-Efficacy

Factors of self-efficacy are: experience, cultural expectations, gender roles and overall support for effort and risk taking. Three other factors that affect self-efficacy are: modeling, social persuasion and physiological factors.  Modeling is when children see someone else succeed at a task and their self-efficacy increases as they believe they can succeed as for well. For example, if a child sees their peer has been successful at a getting a good grade on a history test, they also believe they can get a good grade on a history test. I tried to be a model for my child's self-efficacy as I tackled things that were hard for me such as learning how to get around a new state when we moved from one to another. My daughter and I had lots of "fun" adventures as I would sometimes get us lost as I learned my new way around a new city. It showed her I could succeed at the task of learning my way around a new city.

Social persuasion is encouragement. This is when providing encouragement will help increase self-efficacy while discouragement will decrease it. For example, when a parent gives a child encouragement that they will pass the history test it increases the child's self-efficacy. If a parent tells a child they're not good at history and they're just going to fail the test the child's self-efficacy decreases. I always tried to be a positive social persuasion to my child and encourage her anyway I could. Sometimes she would get frustrated as she worked on her art projects for her art classes. I would look at the picture and tell her what I thought was working and gave suggestions of what I thought wasn't working and gave suggestions of how to work on fixing the spots that seemed working on. This allowed her to talk thing out out loud and see the picture from a different perspective and fix what she didn't think was working.

Physiological factors are when stress affects children physically such as nausea, pains or shakiness and these factors can decrease a child's self-efficacy. Some children feel nauseous and shaky because it's an experience that is kind of scary and it effects them physically and then once they have achieved the activity that increases their self-efficacy and eliminates the physiological factor of the activity. For example, when my child was small there was a small creek that ran by the side of our house. When she was learning how to ride her bike she had to ride by this small creek which scared her because she was afraid she would lose her balance and fall into the creek. I would stay with her holding onto the bike until she got past the creek until one day I didn't. She didn't know I had let go of the bike right before the creek until she turned the bike around to come back and saw that I was still standing by the creek. When I told her I had let go right before the creek she looked upset but I told her to try it again. I stayed standing where I was and she went riding by the creek again. When she got passed it she started chanting, "I did it. I did it." Once she knew she did it and did it again she then had the self-efficacy to continue to do it.

Difference Between Autonomy and Self-Efficacy

The difference between autonomy and self-efficacy is autonomy is the desire to do something for oneself and self-efficacy is the ability and willingness to try a task. Self-efficacy means that people are more likely to participate in behaviors and be more successful at them when they believe they are capable of accomplishing behaviors of a task successfully. This is why it's important to allow a child to try things on their own because even if they aren't successful, they then know it may be something they may not be good at but it also helps them learn what they are capable of doing.

For example, for a few years my child took piano lessons. She was good at but it wasn't something she really enjoyed and she didn't like doing recitals and having to speak in front of people to tell them what songs she was going to play. The area of arts she likes is painting, drawing etc so instead of continuing her piano lessons she focused on art classes and developing her talent in drawing and painting etc which she is really good at.

This let her know she was good at playing the piano but it wasn't something she was particularly interested in and let her know there was something else she was more interested in and more talented in so it was her talent in drawing etc that was developed instead.

Ways to Recognize A Child's Struggle For Autonomy Part 2

The second way to recognize a child's struggle to develop autonomy is to learn best practices for supporting the development of autonomy in children. A way to do this is to give children opportunities to do things by themselves. For example, when my child wanted to poor the milk on her cereal, I allowed her to do this yet guided the milk carton so that she didn't spill. The milk carton was also too heavy for her so by guiding the carton I also helped her be able to hold it. When a parent does this a parent is teaching their child they can do anything for themselves and the parent is taking the time to teach the child they can do anything for themselves and the parent is taking the time to teach them even though yet it would be less messy and take less time to do it yourself.

The third way to recognize a child's struggle for autonomy is for parents to learn how to communicate in order to learn how to support the development of autonomy in their children. A parent can do this by letting children have a choice in the chores they have. For example, my child liked to help me vacuum the stairs, however, she was too young to use the vacuum and to use that kind of machine. So, I went and bought her a toy vacuum and let her use that. She 'vacuumed' the stairs using her toy vacuum and I went behind her using the actual vacuum and this allowed her to vacuum the stairs and gave her the opportunity to see that she could do it and by herself.

A parent's major task in developing autonomy is to help children be safe and learn appropriate social skills and behaviors without using discipline to be mean or shameful. A parent should be encouraging  their children to do something, not making them feel bad because they can't do something. A parent shouldn't be telling a child how the way they're doing a task is wrong, a parent should be letting the child figure it out themselves and showing them and teaching them how to do something, not doing it for them and not telling them that how they do it is wrong. A parent should be building a child's autonomy not destroying it/ For a parent a major task in developing autonomy is teaching their children the skills and behaviors they need to be safe and to get along in the world.

Ways to Recognize A Child's Struggle For Autonomy

There are different ways to recognize a child's struggle for autonomy. One of the ways to recognize it is to support a child in developing autonomy by providing training, resources, modeling and supervision as children develop autonomy. A parent provides training and resources for developing autonomy as a child tells the parent they want to learn how to cook brownies and the parent gets the ingredients and teaches them how to make brownies.

A parent models the development of autonomy as they learn new things and their children see them putting effort into learning new things. A parent provides supervision to children as they develop autonomy as they don't let children use the oven to make brownies until they are old enough to.

I recognized my child's struggle for autonomy and used these methods to develop her autonomy. For example, when she was about ten years old I was doing the laundry and she asked me how to do the laundry. So I taught her how to do the laundry. I explained what I had already done as far as sorting between colors and whites and putting them in the laundry machine. I then explained each step as I was doing it. When it was time to put the next load in she wanted to do it. I recognized my child's struggle for autonomy by recognizing she wanted to learn how to do the laundry and teaching her how to. I used supervision with this as well as the first few times she did the laundry by herself I supervised her doing it so that it was done correctly. I didn't do it for her I supervised it and walked her through how to do it.

I used modeling to teach my child how to be autonomous because she was still young when I put myself through school and she saw my apply myself to finish school. She also saw me try new recipes for cooking as I came up with different meals for us to eat.

It's important for a parent to understand that the reason for developing autonomy is so that the child will develop positive self-esteem and so that children learn the skills the activity will teach them (i.e. how to do the laundry). Children need to know they can succeed at activities they do instead of learning they are dependent on their parents. Therefore, it's important that parents are not telling children they can't do something and continue to do everything for them and not give them the chance and opportunity to develop the ability to do things for themselves.

Developing Autonomy In Toddler's

To be autonomous a child need to be more interested in being independent and self-directed. They need to start choosing for themselves, what to play with, what they like and what they dislike. For toddlers, autonomy is about discovering a sense of self and who they are. When a child is attempting autonomy, adult interactions with children must be characterized by warmth, flexibility, respect and an understanding that children need to feel a sense of control most of the time.

This means when a child is doing something, they need encouragement to do whatever task they are trying to do. They need to know parents think they can do it and feel their parents believe in them. A parent needs to be respectful and encourage children and allow them to try, if not do the task themselves. To not allow children to try or do an activity on their own is disrespectful because it hurts their sense of self, tells them they are not capable of doing something and that they are not important enough to take the time to let them try to do it themselves because you are always in such a rush that mom/dad need to do it. A parent is telling a child they cannot do something. Giving children encouragement and finding time to allow them to do it and respecting them enough to let them do it, provides them with the sense of control that they need and they have control over what is happening to them and what they can do.

I developed autonomy in my child at this age by allowing her to pick out what shirt she wore with her pants, I would pick the pants and two shirts she could choose from or I would lay out a dress and an outfit for her to choose from. One of the hardest things I let her do at this age is learn how to drink from a cup by herself. I always wanted to do it for her and I would have nail prints in my hands from clutching my hands so hard to stop me from doing it for her. Did she make a mess, sure. But I would rather clean up the mess she made and let her learn how to do it than not allow her to learn a skill that was appropriate she learn and milestone she needed to hit. It was the same with teaching her how to put her coat on at this age. I would lay it on the floor with the hood facing her and taught her to put her arms in and throw the coat over her head to put it on.As she was just learning it took a few minutes and tries for her to do it but she learned how to put her coat on by herself.

Teaching autonomy is hard and frustrating but also awarding as your child starts to do things on their own and you see in their face the look of accomplishment.

Play and the Development of Initiative

Another part of developing initiative is play. Mildred Parten was a sociologist at the University of Minnesota Institute of Child Development. She developed six stages of social play which are: onlooker play which is  when children watch other children play but do not join in the play themselves, solitary play which is when children play alone, parallel play which is when children are playing side by side with one another but still focusing on themselves and what they're playing with, cooperative play which is when children will engage in activities with other children where they fully cooperate with one another and use roles and scripts and imaginative play which is when children make a shift in the way they view the world and learn to explore new concept skills and emotions.

In order for children to progress through the different play stages, a child needs to work through Erik Erikson's  stage of initiative vs. guilt. This stage is when a child either takes initiative to complete a task or feels guilty for doing it. For example, if a child gets a good grade on a spelling test and their best friend failed it, the child needs to work through this stage of being proud of themselves for taking the initiative to study and being prepared for it, rather than feeling guilty that they did well and their best friend didn't. Children need to understand they have nothing to feel guilty of. This is hard for a child to understand and to get over and it takes a long time, sometimes into adulthood for them to understand and work through the feelings of guilt they have.

When I was raising my child I had to help her work through this stage and even now that she's in college she still at times has to work through it again. When she was in preschool there was a lady who came from a dance studio to her preschool and gave children who enrolled dance lessons. She came twice a week and in the spring they put on a performance. My daughter showed talent in this dance class but there was someone in her class who saw this and was jealous of it and would say rude things about my daughter and her ability to dance. I had to help my daughter understand that it came from jealousy and a little bit of her being intimidated by my child's talent. I had to help her understand she didn't need to feel bad about being good at something or being better at something than someone else. I had to teach her that we all have things we're good at and bad at and that the child who was jealous of my child's talent in dance was probably better than my daughter at something but that didn't mean my child needed to feel badly about that.

A child who has developed a good sense of autonomy will understand they have done nothing wrong or to feel guilty of when they find they have done a task better than someone else. They took the initiative their friend or peer didn't and it paid off for them and there is nothing to feel guilty for about that. Developing initiative in a child is tricky and can be a harder task of parenthood. As parents allow their children to learn new things and give them opportunities to try new things and believe in their child's ability to achieve a goal makes establishing initiative in children easier. It starts small with children feeding themselves to learning to tie shoes to learning how to prioritize assignments and it's important children reach each goal of taking initiative. 

Stress, Aggression and the Development of Inititative

Helping to relieve stress and aggression leads to the development of initiative because as parents take pressure off their children to achieve a task that may be developmentally inappropriate this causes a child to pick a task they can accomplish. For example, when my child was growing up I taught her to help me clean the house. I chose chores for her though that were age and developmentally appropriate. For example, when I had her help me clean the bathroom I had her clean the mirrors and take out the trash. As she got older I taught her how to clean the sink, bathtub and toilet.

When a child is trying to do something that is too hard for them, they get frustrated and can become aggressive because of the stress on them to do something they cannot developmentally do yet. For example, my child wanted to try to vacuum the floor. The vacuum was too heavy for her to push so she couldn't do it yet. I let her try first so she knew she couldn't do it instead of telling her she couldn't. I let her try when it was still off so she knew it was too heavy for her. She got frustrated as she tried because she wanted to do it but couldn't do it yet because she didn't have the strength to push it yet. When she started to get frustrated I let her try for another minute and then suggested I do it while she went to go play. Vacuuming was the last thing that needed to be done in order to clean the house so I let her go play while I did it. I let her take the initiative to try to do vacuum and I let it frustrate her but not to the point that it lowered her self-esteem or made it so she never wanted to try to vacuum again or try anything at all.

Sometimes the expectation to take the initiative to achieve a goal comes from the parents and sometimes it is an unreasonable expectation the child has put on themselves. For example, my child always had to have an A in her classes, she didn't even like a minus to be behind the A it had to be an A or she was not happy. I told her it was okay that the minus was there and that it was okay for her to even have a B in a class but if she ever got one it was not something she liked and she had to turn it into an A by the next report card. This was ans expectation she put on herself. I know some parents put this expectation on their children but I never did. As she got into college though she did stop being so hard on herself and if she got a B she didn't worry about it the way she did in high school. The stress this caused her worried me and I would often tell her to stop being so hard on herself and let her know that my expectation was for her to have A's and B's. This is why it's important to keep expectations developmentally appropriate. When it's developmentally appropriate, the stress the child feels will go down and possibly away and they won't act out aggressively because the expectation has stayed where it can be reached.

Behaviors That Characterize Healthy Initiative

Behaviors that characterize healthy initiative include: love to create and invent. My child is a very artsy person, she has always loved to draw, paint etc and she has always loved to do it free handed. Where she has always been a creative person in this way I developed this type of initiative by having art supplies at home and let her decide whether she wanted to color, paint, draw etc and I let her decided what she wanted to draw. Another behavior that characterizes healthy initiative is to take action and asserting themselves physically and socially. I developed this type of initiative by taking her to the park and doing obstacle courses in the house when it was raining so that it challenged her physically. It  developed her initiative as she chose what structures she played on at the playground and some of those physically challenged her because of height until she grew tall enough that it was no longer a challenge. I developed her initiative socially as I put her different social situations such as child care, church, play dates, meeting the children of new neighbors etc.

Children develop initiative through challenging limitations and adult control. Where I never allowed my child to disrespect me I did let her challenge rules. For example, I let her challenge her bedtime in the summer vs her bedtime during the school year. She also challenged it as so got older by asking for a later bedtime and also by asking for her curfew to be changed as she got older. These were never arguments or control issues she would just come to me and ask if where she was older if it could change and we would discuss and agree to change it to what we could both agree to. Sometimes it would be me who started the conversation. For example the transition from elementary to middle school would need a later bed time. I told her what I thought was fair, she thought something else would be and we discussed it until an agreed time was decided.

Children can develop initiative through playing and interacting with their peers. This helps them practice the ability to say what they want to play etc. When my child had friends over and I could tell they were disagreeing about something I wouldn't jump in and solve it I would give them time to solve it on their own and only interfered if she asked me or it got really loud. This allowed her the opportunity to develop the initiative to voice her opinion and problem solve.

One last behavior that characterizes healthy initiative is when children practice initiative by taking risks, exploring new things and working hard at any effort they see themselves as being successful with. Children are concerned with the end product and acquiring the skill, not meeting expectations set by adults. For example, my child wanted to learn how to make jewelry so I found someone who would teach her. She didn't learn to do it because she wanted to go sell it and earn money from it was just a skill she wanted to learn. She wanted the knowledge of how to do it and has made a lot of her jewelry and mine. It was the self-concept of knowing how and putting the effort into learning how and enjoying the process of it because it relaxed her, not her becoming a pro at it or as I said selling it for money.

These are just some of the behaviors that contribute to the development of a healthy initiative and some of the ways I developed it in my own child. How each parent develops it is as different as each child and the important thing is that it is done so that a child knows it's all right to be their own selves and develops a healthy attitude toward trying things and self-esteem by allowing children to take the initiative to decide for themselves in an age appropriate way.

Building Initiative Through A Child's Environment

For a child to develop initiative the environment the child lives in and learns in should actively support the child's sincere effort to develop initiative. In order to support initiative the environment should provide the following opportunities. A child's environment needs to provide opportunities for discovery. For example, when I was raising my child we would take walks that gave her the opportunity to discover different textures, animals etc which would provide opportunities for her to discover initiative as she explored touching leaves, sand or petting a person's animal.

A child's environment should provide sensitive support. For example, my daughter never wanted to go sit on Santa's lap but she did want to stand by and watch as other children went and sat on his lap. I provided sensitive support of her initiative to get close by and watch but never participate. A child's environment should encourage friendships so when I was raising my daughter we would have her friends over for play dates and she went over to her friends house for play dates, birthday parties etc.

Children need time to play without being denied the opportunity to play due to misbehavior or schedules. To support initiative the environment should provide opportunities to plan and implement the child's plan. For example, when my child was eighteen months old we were going to go visit my oldest brother. I knew she would want to play for a while when waking up and that it couldn't just be us getting up and getting ready and out to the airport so I scheduled time for her to play into the schedule.  Parents should provide opportunities for children to learn about their bodies and how to use them in different ways. This is done through gross motor skills such as jump rope dancing etc. To provide my child with these opportunities I bought her jump rope, built obstacle courses and took her to the park.

Indoor activities support initiative in children and should empower children to develop initiative in socially appropriate ways and focus on safety and active supervision. Socially appropriate ways means not screaming at parents or children when a child wants something but asking in a kind way. For example if my child would scream at me or talk to me in a disrespectful way I would say, "I don't like it when you talk to me that way it makes me sad. Say can you help me please." I would then have her say the phrase and then help her or get her a drink etc. Safety and supervision means making  sure play equipment is used correctly and that parents don't go too long of a  length of time without checking on their child to see what they are doing. For example, my daughter used to like to sit on her easel but the part she liked to sit on folded in and out and I didn't want her to fall so I wouldn't let her sit on that part of it. I taught her to either sit in the chair that came with it or sit on the desk part of it that was more sturdy. I would also check on her every 15-30 minutes to see what she was doing. If she was in her room playing I would just peek in and make sure I knew what she was doing, that it was safe and she was all right and then I would walk away.

The outside environment helps in developing initiative because the outdoors allows children to explore, experiment, take risks, make mistakes and try again. For example, it allows a child to learn how to climb the stairs on the slide, ride a bike, get safely in and out of a pool, cross a street etc. Playgrounds or parks have different surfaces  that teach a child about textures such as grass, sand or wood chips. Sidewalks provide a safe place to ride bikes, walk away from traffic etc. All of these environments help teach children initiative as they choose what type of activity they want to do in their environment and parents help them by giving them safe, good choices to make and teach them about things in their environment that  might hurt them.

Language Development

It's during the infant/toddler years children begin to develop language. This begins with coos and child mimicking a sound a parent makes and moves onto babbling. To help develop a toddlers language skills a parent should find constructive  and sensitive ways to encourage language. Also encouraging any attempt to say a word shows a child encouragement to use their words. For example, when my child was at this age and learning to talk I would give her the words she needed to express herself. For example, when she brought me a book to read I would say, "Read please. Say read please." Instead of her just nodding her head yes that that is what she wanted I would first have her attempt to say, "Read please," before I would read the book to her even it it just came out as a jumble of sounds.

A second way a parent can encourage language is to use a variety of language in conversation and in word games. For example I knew poems that had hand gestures that I would recite to my daughter or if I needed her to wait until I finished doing what I was doing before I helped her I would say "Let me finish cutting the carrot up and then I'll open that for you." Then I would say, "Help me," then I would have her attempt to say it before I helped her.

Use language for a variety of purposes such as to give directions, encourage, while changing a diaper etc. How you speak in each of these situations is different and helps a child develop language. For example, when I changed my child's diaper I would say something such as, "Lets take this one off, now I'm going to clean your bottom, and now lets put a fresh one on," and when I was done and picking her up I would say, "All done. All clean." I would read to my child and put age appropriate music on to listen to. Both reading and music develop language skills because books and songs repeat sounds and syllables.

The last thing a parent can do to develop language is to understand the child will make what appears to be mistakes. A child will call a blanket a ba ba or something else and this is okay. A child knows the real name of the object but is still learning. Encourage any attempt to say a word. Do not insist they get it right and particularly not the first time as this can lead to stuttering. Your child will get it and they understand far more than they are expressing. At this stage it it about the attempt and the development of words not a child being able to say words. It's about developing their vocabulary not being able to say a word correctly yet. Around age three is when a parent can start correcting the way a child says words and having them say them correctly.

For example, my daughter would call my mom gwama and not grandma because when she first learned how to say the word grandma the gr sound  and the 'd' sound were hard for her to pronounce. When she turned three I knew she could say the gr and 'd' sound and had developed her language skills enough that she could pronounce it correctly. So when she turned three I didn't let her call my mom gwama anymore I would look at her say say grand-ma. I would have her repeat it correctly three times and then leave her alone. For 2-3 weeks she said the word grandma phonetically and then I had her say the word putting it together say "grandma." I would have her say the word correctly three times then leave her alone. This helped her learn how to say the word grandma correctly and I did the same thing with other words she had a hard time pronouncing until she pronounced each word correctly.

Your child is learning and growing and each child will meet the goals of these stages as they develop and use you as the parent as the secure environment needed to meet the goals of each developmental milestone. Language development is learned in a different way and rate for each child. As a parent  encourage  your children to use their words and praise any effort to say a word.

Dimensions Of Parenting

Jay Belsky who is an expert in child development and family studies and Richard Lerner who is the director of research in youth development and the department of child study and human development at Tufts University came up with six dimensions of parenting. These are: attentiveness which is paying attention to your child, physical contact which is holding them and cuddling with them, verbal stimulation which is talking to them, material stimulation which is interaction with toys, responsive care which is responding to cries and needs and restrictiveness which is putting restrictions or conditions on what a parent will do for their child or what parents allow their children to do particularly for themselves. The first five have positive effects on a child's emotional, social and intellectual development. The last one is negative.

When I was raising my child the way that I implemented these dimensions of parenting are: I paid attention to my child, when she was playing by herself or friends I made sure I knew where they were and what they were playing so if it ever became unsafe I could prevent harm. I also listened to my child when she spoke to. I would put my computer or phone to the side and I gave her my undivided attention when she spoke to me. Sure there were times I had to tell her to wait until I finished something but then I gave her my undivided attention.

I gave my child a hug and kiss on the cheek every morning when she woke up and every night before she went to bed. I also let her snuggle when she was sad, hurt, sick etc. I provided verbal stimulation particularly when she was an infant by talking to her about what I was doing like when she was in her high chair while I made dinner or I sang her songs when she was sitting on my lap and I read to her. I played with her from the time she could play with something like a rattle to sitting a doing a puzzle with her, to playing a game.

When she was an infant I learned what her cries meant and reacted accordingly like changing her diaper, feeding her etc. As she got older responsive care became helping her get a snack when she was hungry, helping her when she got hurt or responding to any and all of her needs.

I never used the restrictive dimension of parenting. I never put conditions on what I would do for her or put restrictions on what she could do unless it would in some way cause her harm such as touching a hot stove or jumping off a high place etc. Restrictiveness teaches a child love in not unconditional but conditional on the child's behavior and abilities and this was never a message I wanted to send my child.

Temperaments

Temperament is a matter of individual differences that reflect a child's personality. It's initially genetically determined but can be influenced by a child's environment. Temperament impacts how children react to events in their environment.

There are four kinds of temperament:easy, difficult, slow to warm, and hard to classify. A child's temperament influences the type of coping approaches a parent can use. An easy child is flexible, they adapt quickly to new situations and are curious. The difficult child has intense and frequently negative moods and cries out loudly. They push limits and respond on a whim to intense emotions. With slow to warm up children these children are more fearful, avoid difficult situations are cautious to participate in contact with new people. These children are hesitant with new experiences. The hard to classify children are rare and they are hard to feel out. They show all three temperaments depending on the situation. These children will like a food one day and not the next. These children can frustrate a parent because it seems like everything they do is wrong, when it's not. These children really do not know what they want to do and need more direction and parent activities. For example, "Do the puzzle for a bit, then color when you're ready to do something else.

My child has an easy temperament but depending on the situations could be a difficult child. Most of the time she was an easy child. If she needed something she came to, she went from one activity to another easily and with little warning although I always made sure to give her warning. Where she was an easy child I and didn't demand a lot I would check in with her throughout the day to see how she was doing and if she needed something otherwise I let her play by herself and with friends and didn't bother her much.

It's important parents are mindful of a child's temperament in order to respond to the child accordingly because this can help. Temperament is steady and steady throughout life. It never changes. Each child's temperament is different. A family can have children that have all of these types of temperaments. How you parent each type is different. Many parents think what works for one child will work for another and it doesn't. Remember each child is different and each child has a different temperament. For this reason one child will only have to be asked to do something once, whereas another child will have to be asked several times. If a parent remembers what type of temperament a child has, dealing with them and raising them becomes easier.

The Parenting Style I Used

When raising a child there are three parenting styles that can be used. Diana Baumrind who was a researcher who focused on the classification of parenting styles outlined three parenting styles based on her classification scheme. They are: the authoritarian  parent, the authoritative parent and permissive parent. The authoritarian parent has high expectations, they don't believe a child should question authority and punishments are strict.  The authoritative parent has high expectations but the expectations are age appropriate, they give their children choices and independence along with being clear about what their expectations are for their children. A permissive parent lets their children do anything and don't give a consequence for inappropriate behavior and make excuses for their children's behavior. There is little consistency with permissive parents and they rarely supervise their children's activities.

Eleanor Maccoby who has a Ph.D in experimental psychology and J.A. Martin added a fourth type of parenting style which is the uninvolved parent or the neglectful parent. This type of parent provides no control over their children's lives, they don't have rules, don't expect their children to behavior in any kind of way and don't teach the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. These children are emotionally disconnected from their children and they worry about their own problems more than their children or their children's problems.

When i raised my child the parenting style I used was the authoritative parent style. I gave my child choices but made consequences clear and followed through with the consequences. The choices and consequences were age appropriate, however I also allowed discussion of expectations and consequences. I value independence and taught by child to be independent. I listened to my child's point of view and I felt this was the parenting style that would help me help my child develop who she is, develop healthy self-worth,  and know she is loved and accepted for who she is.

Despite that I used the authoritative parenting style most often to raise my child when the situation needed me to use a different parenting style I used a different one. Some situations need a parent to be authoritative, some situations need a parent to be authoritative and other situations need a parent to be permissive. I tried not to get caught up on trying to be one type of parent that I failed to see when a different parenting style was needed.

The children in a family are very different and a family may have a child that needs an authoritarian parent, another child may need an authoritative parent. A child's personality and temperament help determine the kind of parenting style that is used.  The most important thing to remember when choosing what parenting style to use and what situation needs what kind of style is to remember that it is your responsibility as a parent to help guide your children to achieve their own goals. It is your responsibility to help your children become the kind of person they want to be, not tell them what kind of person to be. Consider these types of parenting styles and choose the one that best identifies with your and your spouses philosophy on raising children.

The Theory I Chose

I raised my child as a single parent and often people ask me how I did it.When I was getting my bachelor in early childhood education administration one of the classes I took had us study the different theories of child development. We studied  Piaget, B. F Skinner, Urie Bronfenbrenner and others. It was while I was taking this class I realized the theory I was using to raise my daughter was The Maslow approach. The Maslow approach is a humanistic approach that has a hierarchy of needs. The hierarchy of needs are: physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging needs, esteem needs and self-actualization.

I felt the Maslow approach helps a parent understand that until the basic needs of a child are met it can be difficult to help a child. In my point of view the Maslow approach take care of the whole child not just the physiological or psychological needs and it doesn't just reinforce behavior that parents want. My position is the Maslow approach helps a child become their own individual and help parents help children become a whole unique self.

Of course there are times when raising a child that other theories need to be used because other people's theories help a parent raise a child too and different theories help at different stages of development as the child grows and parents shouldn't be afraid to change the approach they use if one isn't working. However, the Maslow approach is the one I used most often when I raised my child.

Everyone is different though and each parent should find the theory that works for them, their children and their family. Knowing what theory you want to use to raise your children though helps as a guide as parents raise their children.

Other Types of Technology And Children

Computer, smart phones and the internet all offer in interactive media through a varied range of learning, entertainment and communication. When a parent is considering technology and the use their children have of it, it's necessary to consider the use of computers since it's one of the most popular media that children use to interact with each day. Computers have become more common in children's lives over the past decade and it's important for parents to know what their children are doing on the computer. As soon as children can read and write they begin to use a computer for word processing. This helps children write freely and experiment with different letters and words without erasing or crossing out what they don't like. As children get older they use the computer to do homework, research projects, and papers. Children can encounter racial slurs, pornography and cyber bullying when using a computer. When parent's don't know what their children are doing online they can get into chat rooms and have relationships with people which can cause a child to be sexually abused particularly if they meet the person face to face without the parents knowing which is often the case. This is why it's important for parents to know what children are doing while on the computer and to set up blocks on certain sites.

A disadvantage to smart phones and other technology is that they cause distractions in face to face interactions and are making it easier for children to not develop or use communication skills that are important to have when they get to the age of their first job. Video games can be filled with aggression and gender stereotyping . This is a reason video games are now rated.  Exposure to violent video games can make children  more aggressive  and less caring. The discovery that this occurs with exposure to video games is consistent and doesn't  differ with age, gender or cultural  upbringing. Video games don't give children the opportunity for independent thought or creativity and can cause  children to confuse reality with fantasy. There are positive aspects to video games such as enhancing spatial thinking skills, improve problem solving and the use of fine motor skills.

Regardless of the types of media and technology parents have in their homes it's important for parents to know and be informed of what their children are doing with technology and what forms of media they are watching.

Types of Media and Children

Screen Media is television or movies. Studies have found that the more preschoolers and school aged children watch prime time TV shows and cartoons the less time they spend reading and interacting with others. TV shows and movies that children watch may have ethnic or gender stereotypes that adults need to be aware of. Educational programs for children are sensitive to issues of equality and diversity but commercial entertainment programs can convey ethnic  and gender stereotypes. When minorities appear in adult shows they are more likely to be put across as secondary characters and have lower status roles such as unskilled workers or law breakers which teaches stereotypes. There are shows such as Blackish which are starting to break these stereotypes.

Print media is books, magazines etc. Introduction to these is influenced by the status of the family and the educational level of the parents. There is a relationship between education, income, and the value placed on the purchase of books and other reading material. The more educated the parents, the greater the income is, which can lead to attention on what printed media is purchased and therefore that children are exposed to. Some claim printed media is the primary way information about education, religion and government is passed from one generation to the next.

Audio media is any media channel that uses audio files such as music, audio books, or podcasts. Children use music in an effort to control and communicate their moods. Children as young as eight months can tell the difference between happy and sad music. This fact reaffirms the allegation that music has the ability to communicate emotion and influence mood. Lyrics to music has the ability to influence behaviors. Listening to songs can increase pro-social thoughts, increase empathy, and foster helping others.

Where these types of media influence children, their thoughts and how they react to different situations it is important for parents to know what children are listing to, watching and the lessons that are being taught through these types of media and be aware of the messages being sent.

Media and Children

Media is a type of communication that fosters a specific effect or action. Mass media is a type of communication that impacts a large number of people with the intent of delivering a message through an impersonal condition. Media and the mass media use the latest technology and their connection with life, society and the environment to influence our children.

Extensive television  watching has been identified  with family and friend difficulties. Children use the TV as a way to avoid interaction and can happen when parents are stressed. Children can  use TV viewing as a way to escape. The most obvious way parents impact the media's influence on their children is by identifying and monitoring viewing habits. It's been found that parents are somewhat uninvolved with what their children are viewing and even when they are involved the level of involvement can be sporadic.

Parents are gatekeepers of their children's viewing habits. For this reason parents should consider setting rules for and monitoring the programs and movies their children watch. Parents should sit and watch with their children the shows their children watch because this can help children understand and interpret TV programs and movies they watch. The amount of time children spend watching TV can affect their socialization depending on the types of shows they watch. If children watch educational shows it can help them learn new concepts. Shows such as Sesame Street were created to foster children's learning. If children are watching for entertainment  it can strengthen stereotypes. Parents should consider the role of TV as it applies to academic learning. TV has the potential for building  and strengthening  academic skills. 

Moral Development In Children

Moral development happens when a child needs to evaluate different beliefs and values and choose which set of rules they'll follow. Sometimes parents try to present their child with the correct choice rather than having the child learn the consequences of their choices. This can impact the child's ability to make decisions when the parent isn't around to provide guidance. Parents who let their children make their own choices  but remove negative  consequences rather than following through with punishment manifest how children are presented with opportunities to resolve moral conflicts and learn appropriate moral responses through experiences.

Moral development helps children develop their own attitudes and values. Parents who allow their children to make their own choices but remove negative  consequences  prevent their children from moral development because they don't follow through with any consequence. It hinders moral development because the child is being told what's right and wrong. For example, if a child chooses  to lie about doing their homework and there isn't a consequence for not doing their homework children learn there is nothing right or wrong about lying about not doing their homework and no moral lesson is taught or learned. The opportunity for the child to learn what an appropriate moral response to lying is not presented and the moral dilemma of whether lying is right or wrong isn't resolved.

Moral development is an important  concept because it applies to the conditions of relationships with peers. Pro-social development progresses through the ongoing productive interactions between children and their parent's, sibling's, friends and culture. The give and take feature of social influence motivates the complex process shaping social and emotional development in childhood. Parents can use inductive reasoning to inform children of norms and principles to explain the effects of children's actions. This will help a child when they get stuck in one way of looking at a situation and help them see other possibilities. Explaining consequences of a person's actions improves children's reasoning skills. When children misbehave parents should explain why their actions were hurtful to others so children can understand consequences of their behavior.

Values are qualities or beliefs that are viewed as desirable or important. Infants and toddlers learn values through interactions they have with family, caregivers and other children they're exposed to. The development of values happens in a social setting. Children interact with other people in their environment and as they do so attitudes are gained through the socialization process. Attitudes can be learned through instruction or modeling. For example, an attitude can be learned through instruction when a parent tells a child to behave a certain way, "Go tell your sibling to hurry before I leave them here." Attitudes can be modeled by an older sibling talking back to the parents and then the younger siblings doing the action as well.

A child's value and belief system steadily develops as children resolve discrepancies in competing beliefs and values. Values are influenced by various factors and often reflect the values of the parents, teachers, religion, culture and friends of children. Age, experiences and cognitive development impact the values children come to hold. Attitudes and values are different for each family. As parents instill in their children the attitudes and values they have their children will  form the same attitudes and values or shape their own using their parents as a foundation. Teaching attitudes and values can be tricky but it's important for parents to remember, understand and respect that children will develop their own attitudes and values as they grow.

Four Factors That Influence Attitudes and Beliefs of School Aged Children

Factor that influence the development of attitudes and beliefs in school aged children are: family, peers, mass media and school community. Family members are the people who children spend the most time with and have the most influence on attitudes of children. Children's attitudes toward academic achievement, physical activity, and risk taking are all influenced by parents. For example, if a parent doesn't care about what kind of grades a child receives as long as they're passing, the child may learn not to value education. If a parent lets a child eat whatever they want with no thought tow whether or not it's healthy, a child won't be careful about what kinds of food they eat.

Peers and a child's circle of friends have a large influence on children's attitudes and beliefs. Children spend a majority of their day with peers and friends and therefore attitudes and beliefs of this group impact children's attitudes and beliefs. Children have a tendency to compare their behavior with behavior of friends. They understand the difference between classmates within the in-group and out-group. Peer influences increase as children get older which is why it's important for children to be part of a group that accepts them as equals.

Mass media affects children's attitudes and beliefs and they are flooded with messages  daily which cause a child to change their attitudes and beliefs to reflect the message they see and hear on TV, radio and print. Video games can effect attitudes and beliefs and what messages these send depend on the types of video games children play.

School community can develop attitudes and beliefs because of gender roles and stereotyping that can happen in schools. For example, if  a school makes it a requirement for girls to take a class on cooking and sewing and not boys the school has taught these skills are only for girls. If a school requires boys to take a class on Technology but doesn't require girls to, the school has taught these skills are only for boys.

It is important to be careful of the messages we send children through the attitudes we teach and show by example and the beliefs we share with them. We also remember we need to remember beliefs and attitudes come from other places other than home to discuss why a behavior may not be good or a belief is different from ours while also teaching our children those beliefs are just different from ones we may have but that doesn't make them wrong.






















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Helping Children Learn How to Recognize Difference Between Opinion and Fact

Logic is the study of reasoning and examines the structure and content of arguments. Logic helps describe various types of arguments and evaluates why good arguments work and bad ones fail. Some people use dogmatism to state their position. Dogmatism is of course when a person claims their opinion to be true. There is a difference between opinion and fact. An opinion is a belief based on what someone thinks to be true or likely. A fact is something that has actually happened or that is really true and reality.

A fallacy is a mistake in reasoning. There are around 23 fallacies a person can use when making an argument. The begging the question fallacy is when a person commits a mistake in reasoning by assuming what one seeks to prove. For example, everyone wants the latest iphone when it comes out because it is the hottest phone of the season. This is a fallacy and an example of begging the question because there are some people who don't like or use iphones. Another type of fallacy is the argument of scare tactics. This fallacy is used to play on a person's fears in order to get the person to do something or believe something to be true. For example, if a dad tells a guy to leave his daughter alone and to let her believe he doesn't care about her or he as the dad will do something to either the guy or his daughter-whatever the threat may be to get the guy to leave his daughter alone- the dad has played on the fears of the guy in order to get him to leave his daughter alone and the guy has believed the dad will do whatever the dad has threatened to do.

There are other forms of fallacies such as scapegoating, the red herring and many more. Regardless of what fallacy a person uses the fallacy uses informal logic which is why these are never true. However, because children's brains are still developing, they can be influenced to believe the generalizations that fallacies use when people use them to prove their claim. When fallacies are used, the claims are usually false and cannot be proven. Children need guidance from adults to consider whether a claim is true or whether they can actually do legally what they claim they will do.

Middle School Aged Children and Cognitive Abilities

Hi everyone,
I'm back. Sorry it was such a long break. I finally have a new computer and can get back to posting again. So let's just dive right back in and start off where we left off. Last post we discussed children and motivation. Now lets discuss cognitive abilities.

Middle school is considered to be between the ages of six and eleven or twelve. It's a time that's filled with transitions but most particularly cognitive abilities. The progress children make in their cognitive abilities affects their attitudes and beliefs. A cognitive area that develops to help children is spatial thinking. When children are encouraged and taught to sharpen their skills in analyzing problems and recognizing spatial relationships, parents can help children develop positive, confident attitudes. Spatial thinking is a child's ability to see pictures of words. It's a child's ability to participate in problem solving and use pattern recognition using objects and spatial relationships. For example, being able to use spatial thinking to parallel park.

Another way children grow in cognitive abilities that helps children progress in attitudes and beliefs is cause and effect thinking. Cause and effect thinking indicates a child's ability to understand the sequences of events as they pertain to logical order. For example, if you don't brush your teeth you get cavities. The ability to think problems through in a way that moves a situation forward is important in influencing a child's attitudes and beliefs. Children need to be  able to internally process the consequences of their actions based on what they identify to be right or wrong and act appropriately. When children work through this stage, parents and other members of their micro-system can help them talk it through in order to better prepare them for the future.

Parents need to be aware that cognitive development has the potential to cause children to generalize attitudes and beliefs in ways that may not be true. Racial and gender issues come into play when this happens because cultural messages from outside environments and a child's community may be persuading children that generalizations are true.  Some people use informal logic to make their arguments which can confuse a child. Logic is the study of reasoning and examines the structure and content of arguments. Logic helps describe various types of arguments and evaluates why good arguments work and bad ones fail.  In the next post we'll discuss logic, and informal logic and how to tell the difference.

Last Leg

I apologize it's been a while since you've heard from me and  it unfortunately will be a little while longer. My computer is on it's last leg. I'm going to have to get a new one. I've tried posting other posts but my computer doesn't want to post them whether I post right away or schedule for another time they just aren't getting posted. I'm hoping this one will. SO....bear with me a while longer. I have to get taxes back and then look into getting another  computer before I'm back to posting. Sorry for the inconvenience. 

School Age Children and Motivation

When children become school aged motivation becomes a more self-centered activity and is more individually tailored. Achievement motivation in a school aged child is more related to actually achieving a task. School aged children's motivation may only be seen in one aspect of their life such as achieving their baseball goals but not performing well at school.

Parenting practices influence achievement motivation. If a parent's expectations are unreasonable (too high or low) it affects children's motivation. For example, if a parent expects a child to do the dishes by themselves at age five without an older sibling  or parent helping them, this is an unreasonable expectation. It will affect a child's motivation because it will cause them to think they can't do anything much less right. Low motivation can be caused by expectations that are too easy or too high. Both cause a child to take a why try attitude. Parents whose expectations are developmentally appropriate tend to have high motivation to accomplish a task. Children who show high achievement usually come from homes that include developmentally appropriate timing of achieving expectations. They also come from homes where parents have high confidence in their children's abilities, a supportive family environment and high motivated role models. School aged children who have high expectations of themselves tend to stay with a task longer and end up performing better on tasks than children who have low expectations.

Children who are school aged link self-efficacy to the choice of tasks, effort and persistence and achievement in their choice of task. Children's interpretation of their abilities tends to predict their achievement rather than their interpretation of what others believe their abilities are. School aged children's conceptions about their capabilities are based on whether the ability is considered stable over time. School aged children with high self-efficacy set and embrace challenging goals, use appropriate strategies to achieve them, try hard, persist with difficult tasks and seek help when necessary.Children with low self-efficacy tend to be frustrated and depressed which makes the idea of success more intangible. When a child has low self-efficacy parents, siblings, friends, teachers etc need to help.

These are some of the ways and reasons it is important to encourage children, build a healthy self-esteem and be supportive of and to children.