Tuesday, October 6, 2015

9 factors concerning separation anxiety

There are nine factors of separation anxiety a parent needs to focus on in order to make separation as easy as possible. The first one is that parents need to plan to spend time with their children in a new setting in  order to help them with the transition. The new setting can be a new child care center, Grandma and Grandpa's house or an Aunt or Uncle's house. To the children, all of these places are new unless they visit frequently. A child will stay by the parent in the new setting because the parent gives the child somebody who is safe while they explore the new enviornment. Don't push the child, let them do it at their own rate.

The second factor of separation anxiety is that the babysitter, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle etc should  provide the parents with specific ideas for the separation process. For example, Grandma can tell the parents to tell the child good-bye, then Grandma is going to take the child to see the new coloring book they bought for the child. The third factor is that the parents should gradually move away from the child. A parent will do this naturally-it's instinct. Parents move away slowly to check on the child every few feet and make sure they're doing all right.

The fourth factor is that parents should leave immediately once they say good-bye. This is hard if the child is screaming or reaching for the parent, but staying only drags the process out and makes the separation harder. Go ahead and leave and ask the babysitter, Grandma whomever to call or text you when the child has calmed down. This eliviates the worry the parents are feeling and they then know the child is fine and can enjoy themselves or concentrate on work. The fifth factor is to ask your children if it's all right that you leave.This seems silly but it's important. When parents ask if they can leave they're showing respect to their child and their feelings.

The sixth factor of separation anxiety is to not shame your child and to make sure the babysitter, Grandparents or anyone else doesn't either. To shame a child dismisses how they feel and how they feel is important and real. The emotions they're feeling are real and intense. Acknowledge them and reassure them that you as the parents will be back and when- after dinner, before bedtime, whenever it may be. The seventh factor is that the babysitter, Grandma or whoever is taking care of the child should offer to call, text or send an email to say how the child adjusted and reassure the parent the child is fine.

The eighth factor is that sometimes parents need help making the transition and separating from the child. When this happens don't be afraid to ask for help to make the separation. Also, realize that when this is occuring, that the only thing to do may be to hug the child, give them a kiss, hand them over to whoever will be taking care of them in your absence and leave and know that they're going to be fine. The ninth factor is to get reassurance that you still have a strong bond with your child. Sometimes a child spends so much time at day care, with a nanny, a family member who is taking care of the child while the parents work, that the parents begin to feel the child has a better relationship with the other caregiver than with them. Be reassured this only will happen if you pull away from the child, stop spending quality time with them and stop trying to have a relationship with them.

Separating from your child will always be hard. You love your child and the child loves you. It will never be easy to be apart. Use these nine factors to make separating as easy as possible and know you'll reunite by the end of the day.

No comments:

Post a Comment