Monday, August 10, 2015


I've been thinking lately about two of my co-workers at the first center I worked at. One was a single mother of three children who slept around at lot and would bring these men home to be around her children. The other one was married to her husband for a number of years and shortly after she had her third child left him. She would talk about how stupid he was and how he didn't know how to do anything. She talked about how she wanted her freedom and to be able to sleep with whoever she wanted. From what I saw when he would come and pick his children up he was a good person. He was kind and sweet. She would talk about how he helped out at home and would let her sleep in while he took the kids. When she told me she left him I not only was shocked but mad. How could she leave this man who was so good to her? We often talk about how it's the man who does the woman wrong and how women leave because the man is no good. This wasn't the case in this situation. I was mad because she had no clue what her life as a single parent was about to become. She had no idea what she had in her husband and what a good person he was and how she was making it so that it would never be possible to make things right as far as she could.

Why do women do this? Why do they sleep with every man who comes along and put these men in our children's lives and leave a good relationship so that we can have freedom and sleep with anyone we want? Our children need their father's. They're important. We can be strong, independent women and still- for lack of another way to put it- need a man.

I've also been thinking lately of one specific father. He was the father of one of the children I had at the second center I worked at. Their child was their first and for financial reasons the wife needed to work. It was really hard on her because she wanted to be home with their child and couldn't be. One day he came to me and told me how much he appreciated everything I was doing to help his wife through having to have their child there at the center.  He told me how I had made things easier for her and it was making having to go to work easier on her. He told me about his struggle that his wife had to work and how badly he felt that she had to work because he couldn't provide for them so that she could. He thanked me for everything I was doing to make it easier for her. This man was almost in tears. I could see how much he loved his wife and how it hurt him that he couldn't provide well enough yet to have her home with their child. Father's struggle with many of the same things mother's do. Yet it seems like the mother's get more support.

 I told this father that I was glad that I was making things easier for his wife and him and told him to let me know what else I could to help and support his family because that's what I was there to do. Father's need support too because so many of them are trying really hard to be good husbands and father's. What I do is make provide a safe, nurturing place for children to be while their parents are at work. Who I hopefully am is someone parents can trust with their children so they can go to work, do what they need to and not worry about their children.

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