Positive Self-esteem Through Four Constructs

Nancy Curry was a psychologist and professor of child development at the University of Pittsburgh and Carl Johnson who is a faculty member a the University of Pittsburgh have broken down how to develop positive self-esteem and described the role of parents as an important process. They discuss the development of positive self-esteem through four constructs.The first one is love and acceptance. What children need is unconditional support in their efforts to learn, grow and develop. What a parent says should be offered with genuine affection to who the child is, not what they accomplish. For example, if a child fails a test, a parent can ask how they feel about it. They can ask if there's something they an do differently next time to improve the results. Don't make them feel bad for failing the test or not putting the effort into passing the test, just help them realize they have to put effort into things in order for them to have the result they want, Help them to see they may have made a bad (not wrong) choice and to make a different (not right one) next time.

The second construct in developing a positive self-esteem is power and control. There are a number of ways to help children achieve a sense of power and control. Providing children with opportunities to make a variety of choices is one way to do that. Parents should make sure the choices are acceptable, age appropriate choices. For example, do you want to have yogurt or goldfish for snack? Both are acceptable healthy snacks but the child can choose which one they want.

The third construct to develop positive self-esteem is moral value.  Moral value is the idea that a child is treated fairly and fundamentally a good person. A child with high morals cares for others and learns reciprocal behavior. We enhance a child's  sense of moral values by making sure interactions between  children and adults are characterized by mutual respect, cooperation, empathy, and fairness. Parents should find constructive ways to deal with frustration, disappointment and failure. By doing this it develops moral values and a sense of fairness.

The last construct to develop a positive self-esteem is competence. When you punish a child make sure you criticize and punish the child's behavior  and that the child knows it's the behavior that is unacceptable not the child. This helps the child develop competence in their ability to make good choices that lead to good behavior.